Movember
by NikiGrace
Summary: Movember is a charity based on bringing awareness to men's health issues.  Kurt and the rest of the guys join the cause.  The winner gets 7 minutes of heaven with Kurt.
1. Chapter 1

Movember

Summary: Movember is a charity based on bringing awareness to men's health issues. Kurt and the rest of the guys join the cause. Pairing based on reader's choice.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of its characters. No copywrite is intended and no actual money changed hands. Movember is an actual charity that I have no affiliation with.

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><p>October 20<p>

"Mr. Shue if I may?"

"Sure Kurt."

"Gentlemen, I'd like to take a minute and tell you about a new project that we can work on together."

Kurt ignored Puck and some of the other guys grumbled about not wearing feathers. "As you know October is breast cancer awareness month." There was a mixed reaction some appeared uncomfortable while others, Puck and Finn, were obviously thinking – mmm boobs. "I'd like to tell you about a worthwhile charity called Movember."

"But the grass doesn't need mowed in November."

"Mo as in mustache not as in mow the lawn Britt. Movember is a movement to bring awareness to men's health issues."

"Is that were you got that fantastic mustache t-shirt?"

"Yes. I participated last year but due to my fabulous yet youthful skin I was unable to grow a mustache to prove it." Kurt ignored the comment about a looking like a toothless baby from Brittany.

"What's in it for us?"

Of course Puck was the one to ask, "You'll be helping a good cause?"

"What else?"

"Bragging rights."

"What else?"

"A party."

"What kind of party?"

"Really Puck? Is that all you think about what's in it for you?"

"Yeah. So, what's in it for me?"

"Well to make this interesting I think we need to make it a contest."

"That seems fair. Whoever grows the best mustache wins." Puck smirked knowing he would win against baby-face Hummel.

"That defeats the purpose of the charity. Its about donations to the cause. The person that has the most Mo Bro donations wins."

"Deal. What do I get when I win?"

A couple of the other guys got in on the conversation, "Who said you'd win Puck?" Finn crowed.

"I've got mad hair growing skills, yo."

"No offense Artie but you don't stand a chance against Team Chang Gang." Mike and Tina bumped fists.

"Gentlemen, if growing a stache was all that was involved Blaine would win hands down. Have you seen my boy's chest? Phew." Kurt fanned himself while Blaine turned a delightful shade of pink. "What about you Mr. Shue are you in?"

"Sure it sounds like a good cause."

"Not to be a broken record but what do I get when I win?"

"Puck, you are always a broken record. What do you want?"

"Seven minutes in heaven."

"I'm not going to pimp out some girl for you."

"Who said it was a girl?"

"Wha-at!"

"Did I stutter? If I win, sorry, when I win you have to meet me in the janitor's closet for seven minutes of full on kissing and if you're really good some grade A groping."

"He's my boyfriend Neanderthal!

"It's for a good cause fun-size. So what do you say Hummel? Ready to put tongue where your mouth is?"

Kurt ignored Blaine's vigorous head shaking, "You've got yourself a deal Puckerman. There's no way you can beat me."

"Does that prize go for the rest of them?"

Kurt's jaw dropped opened in surprise. "Why do you ask?"

Tina smiled shyly, "I'd pay to see you make out with one of the other guys."

Unable to backout of the promise, Kurt agreed. "I have one stipulation. Anyone that wins gets their seven minutes in public with the exception of Mr. Shue. No offense but that would be icky."

"No offense taken Kurt. It would be highly inappropriate."

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><p><strong>AN: So there you have it. The poll ends Friday morning. Tell me who you want to win and I'll post the second part of this story on Friday. **

Oh and you can blame Netflix for the lack of an ending on my story Top of the Day to You Office Krupke. I'm still waiting for them to send it…stupid Netflix.


	2. Chapter 2

**Finn "Frankenteen" Hudson**

Today was the day they found out who one the Movember contest. Finn looked at his tasteful Chevron style mustache in the bathroom mirror. He carefully shaved around it. He looked like a young Richard Petty. Burt told him over Friday night dinner that Finn inspired him to grow his own mustache but his mom quickly shot that idea down. She said something about tickling her fancy in other ways. Finn didn't quite understand what she was talking about but by the way Kurt plugged his ears with his fingers and started singing about a problem with Maria, he'd guess they were covertly talking about sex - again.

Even though Finn obviously had the best mustache out of all the glee kids, there was no way in the name of Grilled Cheesus that Finn would agree to make out with Kurt. Not that he had anything against it in theory but Kurt was his little brother. Sure Kurt was several months older than him but he topped the smaller boy by several inches. Oh he shouldn't have thought topped. Ew ew ew.

Rachel was determined to see it happen. Finn didn't understand girls. It seemed like every McKinley girl was backing a different stud. They all wanted to watch Kurt make out with someone else. Finn was lucky in that she was one of few backing him. It was just Rachel and a few random girls that had been crushing on him since the Valentines Day kissing booth.

Finn felt kind of bad for Puck. Most of the cheerleaders were backing Puck. If the Cheerios had their way, Puck would have his tongue down his little brothers throat. Ew ew ew.

**Noah "Puck" Puckerman**

I'm a stud, Puck thought as he carefully applied wax to his Handlebar mustache. He loved how it made him feel when the girls swooned over it. He found himself twirling it in the middle of class or the classes he choose to go to anyway. He'd had a dry spell ever since he knocked up Quinn. Girls didn't want to go out with a guy that had potent swimmers.

Puck didn't mind that the winner had to make out with Hummel. All he had to do is close his eyes and he could easily forget Hummel was a dude. He had really soft hands and his lips looked really plump and powerful. Okay that sounded a little gay. But really look at the ass on that kid. Puck had on occasion snuck a peak when Kurt wore the skinniest of his skinny jeans. You couldn't convince him that he'd been the only guy to notice either.

With most of the Cheerios backing him in the contest he would be sure to win. Quinn, Santana and Brittany had arranged a carwash, in November, to raise money for his campaign. Puck was torn between being really excited to see cheerleaders in bikini tops and thinking of making out with Hummel. He felt kind of bad for Blaine. After all Puck would be macking on his boyfriend.

**Blaine "Young Burt Reynolds" Anderson**

Blaine wasn't worried as he patiently combed his Errol Flynn pencil mustache. He not only had the best mustache out of all the Glee kids but he was totally going to win. He couldn't wait to make out with his boyfriend in front of the entire school. Although watching Kurt make out with Puck or Mike wouldn't be a total drag. In fact it would be kind of hot. Blaine drew the line at watching Kurt make out with Frankenteen. That douche had been on his case since Blaine had enrolled at McKinley. He didn't know what his problem was. They had been friends over Summer and now all of a sudden he couldn't be in the same room with Finn without the other boy making some kind of snarky comment. If he didn't know better, Blaine would think Finn was jealous of him and Kurt. But that was crazy.

Shaking himself out of his funk, Blaine checked his facebook page. He had all the past and present warblers backing him to win the Movember contest. No offense to Santana and her Cheerios but there was no way they could match the deep pockets of Dalton. He was going to win for sure.

He felt a little bad for Mike only Tina and Mercedes were backing him to win. Mike was hot and a fellow Asian but this was war.

**Mike "Other Asian" Chang**

Tina couldn't get enough of his Fu Manchu mustache. Maybe he would keep it after the contest. Their make-out sessions had increased in frequency and passion. Mike couldn't lose. If he didn't get the most votes, Tina would consol him using her womanly wiles. If he won, he would finally get to make out with Kurt.

Kurt was always distracting him in Glee with his shimmies and his shakes. Mike felt a little bad about commenting on it in Booty Camp but in reality it was nearly impossible for Mike to concentrate around the other boy. He was super hot. If it weren't for his love for his Asian princess, Mike would definitely try to tap that.

Mike didn't feel to bad about wanting to make out with Kurt. They would have made a great couple. Not that he didn't look good with Blaine. The dapper ex Warbler had a great set of abs hiding under that 50's style clothing. In all truthfulness, Mike kind of hoped that if he didn't win Blaine or Puck won. He wasn't looking forward to Finn winning that was kind of gross. As long as Jacob didn't win all would be right with his world.

**Jacob "Jew Fro" Ben Israel**

Jacob laughed as he bushed his toothbrush mustache. He looked just like Charlie Chaplin. He did not under any circumstances a certain dictator that would remain nameless.

Jacob had no intentions of making out with Kurt. His goal was the ever lovely Rachel Berry, Kurt's best gal pal. Jacob was sure Rachel would do anything in her power so Kurt wouldn't have to make out with him. He would have the last laugh.

Jacob heard about Movember from one of his confidential sources. Kurt Hummel, a/k/a Porcelain, had promised to make out in public with the winner of the Movember contest. The person with the highest amount of donations wins. The Glocks wouldn't be interested in winning. Jacob only had to worry about Artie. Worry was really an overstatement of how he felt. He easily knocked Artie out of the game. Had the boy really thought the AV Club could outclass his computer skills? Jacob had hacked the website and made a few changes. He finally had a way to get into Rachel Berry's pleasantly fragrant silken panties.

**Artie "Wheels" Abrams**

Artie had a wicked mustache slash beard combo. He had the AV club and thanks to Lauren he had the Wrestling team on his side. Artie wasn't really thrilled with the idea of making out with Kurt. Sure in theory the other boy was good looking but he had no warm tinglies in his nether regions for the other boy. But the status of having the cajones to make out with Hummel in public? Priceless.

Almost every girl in the school was backing someone. He didn't understand what girls found so hot about two guys making out. Now two girls making out – that was hot. Maybe he could win Brittany back if he made out with her baby dolphin. Maybe he would be the big man and even let Santana join them.

**Results**

It was with much trepidation that Kurt waited for the results on the Movember contest. He staked his entire November allowance on Blaine. Kurt already mourned the loss of his Black Friday purchases. He hoped it was enough but the Cheerios were a force to be reckoned with. Kurt didn't know why they were so bound and determined to see him make out with Puck.

Kurt would never admit it out loud but he'd once had a crush on Puck. Well at least he did until the boy started throwing him in the dumpster every Tuesday morning. Maybe if he made out with Puck he could convince him to shave that Mohawk come dead squirrel on his head that Puck had for some reason decided was cool.

As long as he didn't have to make out with Jacob Ben Israel, he could deal with everyone else even Karofsky or Sebastian. He still kind of pissed off that Jacob joined but at least that meant more money for prostate cancer research. His dad and all the guys down at the shop donated under Kurt's name. Burt had been very adamant that he would not endorse his son making out with Blaine for money. Sometimes Burt seemed to forget he wasn't a little boy anymore.

All the boys and Mr. Shue lined up in the auditorium. One by one they came forward as Ms. Pillsbury announced the amount of money raised on their behalf. Kurt chuckled at Mr. Shue's Scraggler mustache. Even Kurt and his baby like skin had a thicker mustasche. Who would have thought that Mr. Shue couldn't grow hair. Thank Cheesus Kurt wouldn't have to make out with Mr. Shuester. Yuck!

Wait, what would happen if Mr. Shue won. No matter how unlikely? Would he have to make out with everyone or would he be off the hook? What if Kurt himself won? Would he have to masturbate on stage? Oh no! Why hadn't he thought about that before?

Ms. Pillsbury read the results:

Jacob – $ 0.00

Finn - $ 69.69

Mike - $ 127.80

Kurt - $ 455.75

Artie - $ 501.01

Puck - $ 7,631.27

Blaine - $ 12,500.00

Mr. Shue - $ 12,500.01

"Wait hold up how did Mr. Shue win by one penny?" Santana looked ready to cut someone with the razors the she hid in her high pony.

"That's a very good question Boobs McGee. Late last night I implored Archie Rosenberg, unidentified son to the famous spies Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, to break into the Movember complex and outbid the highest bidder in the fight for sweet Porcelain's hereto unsullied virtue. Once William dishonors his sacred vow to the Choir Gods, I will have him fired and executed for conduct unbecoming."

"Coach Sylvester? I already made the stipulation that I would not make out with Mr. Shue. There is no way my skin could survive contact with that amount of hair gel. No offense Mr. Shue."

"Ah none taken."

"Porcelain, if you didn't have a Pocket Polly version of William as a significant other I might be inclined to actually like you and your foresight."

"Blaine and I have come to an agreement that he is not allowed anywhere near my face without taking a fifteen minute steam shower with the shampoo of my choosing."

"Way more than I wanted to know about your sex life Ladyface." She quickly exited the auditorium leaving the students and teachers wondering what happened.

"So does that mean that Blaine and Kurt make out? Technically Mr. Shue won but with the early stipulation there will be no kissage between the two." Mercedes was disappointed.

"Why don't we take a vote to see who the dolphin makes out with?"

"That's fair." All the girls chorused in unison.

"I think we should just call it a draw." Kurt knew this wouldn't fly as the everyone except Mr. Shue growled and shook their heads. He thought he even spied Ms. Pillsbury discreetly shake her head.

"Okay lets vote. Who wants to see Blaine and Kurt make out?" Everyone with the exception of Mr. Shue and Puck raised their hands.

"Who wants to see Puck and Kurt make out?" Everyone except Mr. Shue and Finn raised their hands.

"Who wants to see Artie and Kurt kiss?" Brittany and Lauren raised their hands.

"Who wants to see Mike and Kurt make out?" All the girls and Blaine raised their hands.

"Blaine!"

"What? That would be really hot!" Kurt flushed bright red but didn't disagree.

"Who wants to see Finn and Kurt kiss?" Only Rachel raised her hand.

"What about Jacob?" No one raised their hand but Rachel asked why he was listed if he didn't get and donations.

"The Movember representative told me there was foul play expected on some of his donations. He is being interviewed by the Federal Bureau of Investigations for money laundering and tampering with monetary transactions across state lines."

Kurt thanked the great teapot in the sky for small favors. He wouldn't have to make out with Jacob. "So, who do I have to make out with?"

"Blaine and Puck got the most votes so…"

"Kurt can I talk to you in private for just a minute?"

"Uh, sure Blaine." They moved to the side of the stage so they could have a more private conversation. "What's on your mind? You're not jealous of Puck are you? Because you are the one I want to be with."

"No, I'm not jealous. I was just thinking."

Kurt could tell his boyfriend was nervous by the way his toe dug into the ground. "What's on your mind babe? You know we're always honest with each other."

"I was thinking that everyone really worked hard to raise money. Shouldn't they all be rewarded?"

"Are you just saying that so you can see me make out with Mike?"

"Would you be mad if I said yes?"

"No, the boy is fine!"

"Kurt!"

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><p>AN: Since y'all couldn't tell me who Kurt should make out with, he'll make out with everyone. Yes you read correctly it will be a full on smut fest for the next chapter. Hopefully out by or before Friday depending on the muse.


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